On April 8th of 1994 the most beloved musician of my generation, Kurt Cobain, was found deceased in his Seattle, Washington home. The “Nirvana” frontman had suffered a shotgun blast to the head; there had been blood coming from his ear, puncture wounds near his elbow, and the shotgun used to take his life had been found laying on the his chest. Kurt had been laying there, dead on the floor, for three days before his corpse was discovered.
The suicide note found near his body seemingly proved that the musician had taken his own life, as did the stash box containing heroin and drug paraphernalia. Kurt had relapsed; he had been clean for a bit, had only checked himself out of a drug rehabilitation facility known as Exodus Recovery Center just days prior to his death.
The musician’s wife, Courtney Love, claimed that Kurt had been suicidal for a while now, and the coroner ultimately deemed the bullet wound self inflicted.
Kurt’s cremains were present at a memorial service on April 10th. Some of his ashes were placed in an urn, others in a teddy bear, and a good portion were later blessed by Buddhist monks and turned into statues.
Courtney was very public with her mourning; she grieved in person with Kurt’s fans, and even gave away his clothing to those who came to pay their last respects. At the memorial service Courtney played a recording of herself reading the suicide note.
While the death was deemed a suicide almost immediately, there has always been an ongoing debate as to whether Kurt had actually killed himself; plenty of people believe something much more sinister had taken place. The main theory is that Courtney was behind her husband’s untimely death – even her very own father has publicly stated that he believes his daughter had something to do with it.
After Kurt checked himself out of the rehab center on March 31st, Courtney hired a private investigator named Tom Grant to track her husband down; Tom believes that Kurt was, without a doubt, murdered. He is behind the popular documentary dubbed “Soaked In Bleach”. This doc touches on the tumultuous relationship between Kurt and his wife, and how Courtney had believed that Kurt was planning to divorce her.
The private investigator caught Courtney in numerous lies, and there is mention of a black backpack. This bag had been conveniently forgotten at Courtney’s friends house while the investigation was going on. This friend later turned on Courtney; she claimed that there had been handwriting samples in this bag, proving that the suicide note had been faked. And if you look at the note, the top portion is much different from the bottom.
As far as Kurt’s death, it does seem unlikely that the musician could’ve committed suicide this way. Kurt had a lethal amount of heroin in his system at the time of death. It should’ve been impossible for him to do anything at all, let alone shoot himself – especially with this particular firearm.
It would’ve been extremely difficult (if not impossible) for Kurt to have shot himself with this 20 gauge shotgun, even if he had been completely clean and sober. It’s said that the only way he could have accomplished this would’ve been to pull the trigger with his toe, and that is definitely not how it went down. Strangely the shell of the bullet which claimed the musician’s life was discovered on the wrong side of his corpse; the bullet casing would’ve ejected on his right side, but it was found on his left instead. Plus Kurt’s hands had not tested positive for gunshot residue at autopsy; though the absence of GSR alone doesn’t necessarily mean anything, when you add all of the little inconsistencies together it is concerning.
It does not appear that the police who originally worked this case ever truly bothered to investigate, it seems they just took it at face value; the seemingly melancholy Grunge God had committed suicide and that was that. There were even 4 rolls of crime scene photos which had remained undeveloped two decades later.
Even with all of this which points to murder, some still believe that it was suicide. Where there’s a will there’s a way, and I can’t argue with that. I’m curious what you think?
While I can not find a good link for the Nick Broomfield doc, “Kurt and Courtney”, I do have one for “Soaked In Bleach”. This one, in my opinion, is the best anyhow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHnRxrOZLQ0&feature=share
Kurt’s suicide note, I’ll add the photo again below.
Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.
For example when we’re back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it’s not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!
I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.
I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.
Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy.
Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.
I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!
Kurt is also part of the 27 club, which is tragically interesting in its own right. This is a phenomenon in which many actors, athletes, artists, and musicians have passed away at the young age of just 27. Other big names within this tragic crowd include Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, and so many others.
*If you’ve followed me for any amount of time you know that I try to write unbiased articles, I usually do my best to leave my opinion out of my work. I must apologize as that is impossible for me to do that with this case; the more I look into the death of Kurt Cobain the more it screams murder. There’s much more evidence than I have written here. I’d love to hear your opinion, whatever that may be.